The Reason You Struggle to Speak Up & Set Boundaries
You Know What You Want to Say… But You Freeze or Stay Silent
🗣️ You know what you should say. You’ve probably rehearsed it in your head a hundred times but haven’t dared say a word out loud. For some, the fear of speaking up is so overwhelming it doesn’t even feel like an option.
You might fantasise about finally telling someone how you really feel, standing your ground, saying “no” or “that’s not okay” — but something inside stops you before you even try.
😣 Or maybe, you do try. You build up the courage, push through the fear, and try to be clear or stand your ground — but it still doesn’t land how you meant it. The words come out all wrong, you stutter, can't keep eye contact or maybe even completely forget what you were meant to say!
Then afterwards comes the downward spiral of overthinking, guilt and regret. Was that too harsh? Do they think i was being rude? I bet they're annoyed at me now! And then you find yourself never speaking out again through fear of re-living the same cycle.
The truth is, struggling to speak up or set boundaries isn’t just a "this is how i am" type of issue, it can be solved. It's caused by something deeper — in your energy, your nervous system, and your mindset too. These parts of you all work together, and when one is out of sync, it affects everything.
⛔ In this post, I’m going to walk you through what’s really going on when your voice feels blocked. How blockages in your Root & Throat chakras along with nervous system survival mode can silence you without you even realising. We’ll explore how to shift this in a way that actually feels safe, steady, and real — no more forcing, freezing, or shutting down.
📌 Before we dive in, if you want to understand how chakras actually affect your body, emotions, and self-expression — and learn the real, physical symptoms of blockages in each one — make sure you grab my free chakra eBook. It’ll help you spot where your energy is getting stuck and why that matters more than you think.📌
It’s Not Just Low Confidence — It’s a Survival Response
It’s easy to assume the problem is confidence. That if you were just a little more assertive, a bit braver, or had thicker skin, you’d be able to speak up with no issue. Maybe you’ve even told yourself, “I just need to grow a backbone,” or “Other people don’t struggle with this, why do I?”
But the truth is, this isn’t just about confidence. It’s not a personality flaw or a lack of willpower — it’s a survival response.
⚠️ If your body senses even a hint of danger — emotional, relational, or physical — it will do what it’s wired to do: protect you. And sometimes that protection looks like shutting down, freezing, or fawning (people-pleasing to stay safe).
It’s not you being weak — it’s your nervous system doing exactly what it was trained to do.
That shaking feeling in your chest, the anxiety before a conversation, the spiraling thoughts after you speak up… they’re all signs that your system doesn’t feel safe.
☠️❗And when your body is in survival mode, it doesn’t care about boundaries or speaking your truth — it just wants to avoid perceived threat, even if that threat is someone raising an eyebrow.
So if you’ve blamed yourself for being too quiet, too passive, too scared to be “direct” — pause. What if it’s not a personal failing? What if your body is carrying old memories and patterns that have made self-expression feel unsafe?
This is where we start connecting the dots between your nervous system and your energy. Because when your body doesn’t feel safe, your energy centres — especially the root & throat chakras — reflect that too.
How Your Nervous System Makes Speaking Up Feel Unsafe
🧠 Your nervous system’s job is to keep you safe. It’s constantly scanning your environment (and relationships) for signs of danger — even if that “danger” is just someone sighing, rolling their eyes, or slightly changing tone.
When you’ve been through experiences where expressing yourself led to conflict, rejection, punishment, or even just subtle disapproval, your system learns: Speaking up isn’t safe. And once it learns that, it holds onto it like gospel.
🌀That’s why you might feel on edge before a conversation, replay what you said over and over afterwards, or assume someone’s annoyed at you even when they haven’t said a word. It’s not because you’re paranoid — it’s because your nervous system is stuck in survival mode, and survival mode makes everything feel personal, urgent, and unsafe.
🚨This is also why self-expression can feel exhausting. Your body isn’t just speaking — it’s fighting a threat it thinks is real.
But here’s the good news: you can retrain your nervous system to feel safer. And when your body feels safe, your voice starts to return naturally — not forced, not performative — just calm, grounded, and true.
🌬️Even something as simple as slow, deep breathing for five minutes a few times a day can work wonders. It signals to your body that you’re safe. Try it for 21 days — you might be surprised how quickly things begin to shift.
The Root & Throat Chakras: The Real Energy Behind Fear of Speaking Out
When it comes to speaking up, setting boundaries, and saying what you need — the two most important energy centres in your body are the root chakra and the throat chakra.
🌳Your root chakra is all about survival, safety, and stability. It governs your sense of groundedness, belonging, and feeling like you’re allowed to take up space.
If this chakra is blocked, your whole system feels shaky — like the foundation underneath you isn’t strong enough to support you speaking your truth.
🗣️Your throat chakra governs expression — your ability to speak clearly, ask for what you need, set boundaries, and communicate with confidence. When this chakra is blocked, it’s not just your words that get stuck — it’s your truth, your needs, and your voice as a whole.
These two chakras work hand in hand. If you don’t feel safe in your body (root), your voice (throat) won’t come out clearly — or at all. It’s like trying to build confidence on top of a nervous system that’s screaming “Nope, not safe!”
Signs of a Blocked Root or Throat Chakra (Especially Around Boundaries & Expression)
🔴Blocked Root Chakra (in this context):🔴
You feel small, invisible, or disconnected from yourself
You fear confrontation or rejection, even before it happens
You avoid speaking up because it feels like you’ll be attacked or abandoned
You feel unsafe asserting your needs, even in safe environments
🔵Blocked Throat Chakra:🔵
You can’t find the right words, or forget what you were going to say
Your voice shakes or disappears when you try to speak up
You stutter, freeze, or go along with things just to avoid discomfort
You overthink everything you say, then replay it for days
You hold back even when something really needs to be said
What It Feels Like When These Chakras Are Balanced and Open
🌟Calm, grounded, and connected to yourself — even in difficult conversations
🌟Able to speak clearly and confidently without rehearsing every word
🌟Comfortable saying no, setting boundaries, or asking for what you need
🌟Safe expressing how you feel, even if others don’t agree
🌟Like your voice matters — because you know it does
Want help identifying where your own blocks are showing up — and how they’re affecting your energy, emotions, and body?
Download my free chakra eBook and get clear on what’s out of balance, how to spot it, and what it’s really trying to tell you.
Unspoken Emotions Get Trapped in the Body (Especially the Throat Chakra)
Every time you swallow your truth — whether it’s out of fear, guilt, or habit — that emotion doesn’t disappear. It gets stored. And one of the first places it piles up is your throat chakra.
When you constantly hold things in, your body starts to associate not speaking with being safe. So even when you want to speak up, the energy is so stuck it feels physically impossible.
🤐You might feel a lump in your throat, tension in your neck, tightness in your jaw, or a constant urge to cry but no release. These aren’t random symptoms — they’re signs that your truth has been trapped in your body for too long.
And here’s the kicker: the more you stay silent, the more your body shuts down. It’s a loop.
No voice = no release = more fear = more shutdown.
But that loop can be broken. It just doesn’t start by forcing your voice. It starts by helping your body and energy feel safe enough to let it out.
How to Gently Unblock Your Voice and Heal the Fear of Expression
You don’t need to force yourself to be louder, harsher, or more “assertive.”
Healing your voice starts with helping your body feel safe again.
🧠This isn’t about pushing through fear — it’s about gently rewiring the part of you that believes speaking up isn’t safe.
When your nervous system feels regulated and your energy centres start to flow freely again, expression becomes something you can do — without needing to perform it, perfect it, or rehearse it.
Here are a few gentle ways to begin. Each one supports both your nervous system and energy field — helping you create safety from the inside out:
✍️ Journal to Clear Blocked Throat Chakra Energy
Writing out the truth you couldn’t say in the moment helps clear stuck energy from your throat chakra. It gives your unspoken emotions somewhere to land. Even if no one reads it, you read it — and that alone sends the message: my voice matters. You’re reclaiming your right to express without fear of being shut down.
🌬️ Breathe Into the Throat Chakra to Calm Your Nervous System
Slow, deep breathing activates the vagus nerve — a key part of your nervous system responsible for calming stress and creating a sense of inner safety. When you focus your breath on your throat area, you bring awareness, warmth, and openness to that energy centre.
Try breathing in for 4, out for 6, and imagine a soft blue light surrounding your throat as you exhale. On a nice day, do this while looking at the sky — nature has its own regulating effect, and gazing at something expansive can help you feel less trapped inside your body.
🔊 Use Sound to Release Stuck Emotion and Energy
Humming, sighing, or softly singing creates gentle vibration in the throat, which helps break up blocked energy and regulate the vagus nerve. It doesn’t have to sound pretty. It just has to move. You might even feel emotion surface — let it. That’s the release. That’s the clearing.
🧘 Use EFT Tapping & Affirmations to Rewire Expression Safety
Tapping on specific meridian points while repeating affirmations rewires the stress response. It literally tells your body, “This isn’t a threat anymore.” Start with points like the side of your hand (karate chop point), temples, third eye, chin, and collarbone. Pair that with phrases like:
“It’s safe to express myself.”
“I am heard. I am clear. I am grounded in my truth.”
This combo works on both the subconscious and the energy body — powerful stuff.
🌳 Ground Yourself to Support Root Chakra Stability and Confidence
Your voice can’t be steady if your body isn’t grounded. The root chakra governs your sense of safety and stability, and when it’s strong, the throat can open without fear.
Stand barefoot on the grass, soil, or sand — or simply visualise roots growing from your tailbone down into the earth. This signals to your body that you’re supported, present, and not floating in fear anymore.
⬇️
You don’t need to do all of these at once. Pick one, two or three. Be consistent.
The shift doesn’t come from pressure — it comes from repetition and safety.
And always remember: your throat can’t fully open if the rest of you is still locked in survival.
That’s why working with your whole energy system — especially the root — creates lasting, grounded change. Your voice doesn’t just return. It rises.
Want to Speak Up Without Fear? Start by Healing Your Energy
If you’ve resonated with this post — the freezing, the holding back, the overthinking — you’re not imagining it. Your body and energy are trying to protect you. But now, it’s time to help them feel safe enough to let go.
Your voice doesn’t need to stay buried. You can absolutely learn to express yourself clearly, calmly, and confidently — without fear, without spirals, and without shutting down.
And it starts with understanding where your energy is stuck.
Download my free chakra eBook to learn how each chakra affects your body, your emotions, and your sense of self — including the physical symptoms of blockages and how they show up in your daily life.
If your voice has been silenced, your energy will show you why.
And once you see it… you can shift it.